In Which I, a Person With OCD, Share Four Graphic Novels About OCD.
- Mary K
- Feb 2
- 4 min read
In my 30s I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I'm not sure what triggered it, although I was an anxious kid and so always had a little bit of that side of it. But suddenly I had worries that I could not stop thinking about. And so developed compulsions to alleviate the worry - but, and this is the thing about OCD compulsions, they only help for a short time. The worry comes back, so you have to do the compulsive thing again. And again. It becomes a terrible cycle that consumes your life, and though you are conscious that the worries you're having don't make sense, you cannot make them stop.
I will not go on a rant about how much I hate it when people talk about how "so OCD" they are because they like things a certain way - but just know that it minimizes the toll this real mental illness has on people's lives. It's not a joke.
I recently found several graphic novels about kids with OCD, so I've read them all and here's what I think. All, I should add, are written by people who have OCD and so the stories are semi-autobiographical.
BUZZING by Samuel Sattin and Rye Hickman
Isaac is a 12-year-old boy just trying to get through the day while being constantly bombarded with intrusive thoughts, which are portrayed as bees buzzing around his head. His mother hovers as well, taking him to therapy, checking in often and limiting his social life based on what the therapist (erroneously) believes is best for Isaac. So when Isaac is invited to join a group of kids in playing a D&D type game, she's against it - at first. But finally it proves to be just the thing that helps Isaac get a bit out of his head.
I very much enjoyed the story and the use of buzzing bees seems a fitting way to represent intrusive thoughts that never seem to go away. Isaac's growth and increased confidence felt hopeful, without coming across as a complete "cure" for his illness. Rather, playing D&D with his buddies offerend him one more tool to challenge those thoughts and fight them off without having to use ineffective compulsions.
GROWING PANGS by Kathryn Ormsbee and Molly Brooks
Katie (11 years old) and Kacey have always been best friends. The fact that they're both homeschooled helps, as Katie sometimes otherwise feels like an outsider and worries that others will find her weird. But when Katie and Kacey go to camp, they begin to grow apart. Katie worries about losing Kacey as a friend, as well as many other things - and develops compulsions like touching a doorknob a certain number of times - in order to ensure (at least in her mind) that these bad things won't happen. She's finding it harder and harder to hide her worrying and rituals but doesn't think she can tell anyone for fear of being labeled as "different."
As someone who grew up in the 80s (and also has curly red hair and freckles and whose name was Katie until I was 5 - long story), this very much resonated. While I don't remember having compulsions as a kid, I definitely worried A LOT about being "weird." Katie's story felt very true, and compulsions portrayed in a way that I think will definitely feel familiar to some kids who are suffering in silence. The ending might be the impetus they need to tell someone how they're feeling. Fans of Raina Telgemeier and Shannon Hale/LeUyen Pham's Real Friends series will also enjoy this slice-of-school-life story.
JUST ROLL WITH IT by Veronica Agarwal and Lee Durfey-Lavoie
Another OCD story in which D&D plays a major roll! Maggie is also just trying to get through middle school - but making friends, finding the right club, and dealing with an alleged monster on school grounds makes it challenging! So she relies on her trusty d20 (that's a 20-sided die for those not in the know) to help her figure out what the right choice is. But you can't let an inanimate object rule your life, can you?
Rather than the "usual" compulsions like counting or checking repeatedly (although Maggie does have some of these as well) it was interesting to use the d20 roll as her anxiety alleviator. Maggie, unlike Katie, doesn't try as hard to keep her rolls a secret, and her family especially notices and tries to help her stop. But, as anyone with anxiety or OCD knows, you can't just DECIDE to stop worrying - so Maggie continues to rely on her tools, until she's forced to face her anxious thoughts. This story will resonate with many kids, those who suffer with OCD and those who don't, simply due to the challenges everyone faces when trying to figure out what the "right" thing to do is (especially in middle school, where fitting in is oh-so-desired)
PUZZLED by Pan Cooke
Pan (yes, this is a memoir) struggles with intrusive thoughts from the age of 10. He worries that somehow, someone will find out what's in his head - the blasphemous thoughts, the impure thoughts, the forbidden thoughts. What if he accidentally swears in church? What if he accidentally says something mean? He develops private rituals that help alleviate the worries, but, as is always the case with OCD, the worries come back, and he ends up losing sleep, among other challenges. His life feels like a puzzle he can't solve - until he learns about OCD and how he can live with it.
I appreciate that this story included intrusive thoughts that are were not as explicitly portrayed in the other novels but are definitely classic OCD symptoms. Religious and other taboo thoughts that enter your brain without you consiously inviting them, and worrying that others will find out about them, are another way obsessions can manifest. OCD is often about worrying that somehow you are going to do something bad, whether in thought or deed, without intent, and that's going to cause harm to yourself or others. This is portrayed so accurately in PUZZLED that after I read it I made a TikTok video thanking the author because I felt so SEEN. I hope others who are suffering read this book and feel the same.
IF THESE STORIES SOUND LIKE YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, HERE ARE SOME RESOURCES FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Comentários